Excessive

I'm sick, in the summer, with a cold. What the hell. This always happens to me.

Today was actually a pretty good day, minus the sickness part. Being stuffed up and full of mucus all the time really is uncomfortable, but I talked to my Mom for like an hour, took some photos, watched some TV and played some Final Fantasy, so all in all I think it was a pretty good day.

We went to the Toronto Zoo today, in a somewhat spontaneous decision to do something with our day off. We don't usually (or ever) have the same day off together, and this week both of our days off fell on the same two days, so Bekki really wanted to do something special, so we thought about it and came up with the idea of going to the zoo. Well, really, it was Bekki's idea originally, as I've never really been to a zoo beyond small petting zoo's or whatever, so I didn't have a particular inclination to going to a zoo, but I had a lot of fun at the Victoria petting zoo, so it seemed like a decent enough idea, and any excuse to spend time with Brekkerson and the new camera was fun, so let's do it!

The things that I want to write down enter and leave my brain so quickly that by the time I'm at the computer to type it out, I've already forgotten what I had wanted to say.

Happy birthday to me, Jordan, I'm 29 now, one more year to 30, and that's... strange. Been very self-reflective lately, thinking a lot about what I'm doing, why I don't feel relaxed at home, what my goals are. Don't get me wrong, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life, but on my days off, or after work, when I come and sit at home, I kind of feel a bit lost as to what to do, or what I'm doing. It's a weird feeling.

I love bagels and cream cheese and coffee for breakfast. This morning I ate two, and now I feel as though two may be too many.

Ugh.

I'm married now and I'm back from my honeymoon. Followers on Facebook will see hundreds of photos posted, and if you are reading this in the future and Facebook is no longer around, then you're probably like, "what the hell is that" in which case, you suck. I do want to create my own website to host all my photos, but right now it's nothing but a spark of an idea in my head somewhere, and I've no real plans of making it a reality at this point.

I got married yesterday.

It was perfect.

I think it's safe to say that today was a stressful day.

It's the night before my wedding, if you didn't know, which you probably didn't, because I haven't been writing, and you're probably reading this in the future at some point, and it's probably just me reading, so really I'm just talking to myself.

I'm anxious, and it suddenly hit me, and I never know what to do, and I usually waste my day or feel stupid or regretful for how I act, what I waste and the time I give up just because I feel anxious. Deep breaths? Re-asses my plan for the day... figure out what triggered this feeling?

About two weeks until the wedding.

Surprisingly, it's probably the thing I'm the least stressed out about, and I am excited for it. I'm stressed out about work, and how much time I spend there, and my Dog, who brings out a rage in me when she does stupid shit for no reason, and really makes me hate both owning a dog, and also hate myself.