Excessive

Still attempting to balance work, school and relaxing. Been doing better at all three lately I think, but it leaves little time for anything else (like writing).

So it was a couple days ago now, but things have been so busy, shocking, depressing, terrible and overwhelming lately, that I haven't had a chance to sit down and breath, let alone write something, so I'm finally now taking five minutes to at least get started.

No time to write as I work, then go to school, then try to do all my homework... so many issues have been coming up that have been preventing me from being caught up with it all, and it's causing a fair amount of stress.

I worked today, went to school today, went to the gym today, and saw the Hobbit today. Today was a busy day, if you can't tell, and I think this may be one of the first times I've sat down and took a breath, or at least it feels that way.

Second day of school complete, and I went home early! Yeah, it may seem too early to start that, but it just makes sense and it works for me, so while it may seem stupid to skip physical classes, it's in my best interest to come home and view the FanLive sessions at my leisure.

There isn't enough time in the day to do everything that I need to do, and there certainly isn't enough time for me to do everything I want to do. I'm battling huge waves of anxiety as a bunch of things are moments away, and I'm terrified of what may happen.

Happy Motherfuckin' New Year

Time has gone by and I haven't sat down to write, and that's basically because my entire life is different now. I no longer sit on the living room floor, watch endless movies and need things to use up my spare time. I have no time to do anything extra anymore, and that's a good thing, in a way, and so writing doesn't usually make the list, although I wish it did, there are other, more important things that usually come first.

A year ago I figured I'd grow old alone but be okay with it; that I would be comfortable alone, perhaps my dream of starting a family would never come true, but the sooner I accepted that I was destined to be alone, the easier it would be to move on. For the last few years, thoughts of marriage and starting a family (ie. children) had been floating through my head, but the question always remained, "would I ever find that one person I could picture as the mother of my children?" and that also seemed like an impossible task.