Excessive

Is there anybody out there?

Creatively stagnant, I've been sitting here trying to program; trying to improve something I've been working on for awhile, and can't seem to do anything worthwhile. It's frustrating, but I can't let it upset me, because it's supposed to be something I do to relax, so what's the point if it just pisses me off?

I wasn't going to write at all tonight, seeing as it's so late, but I figured I'd just write up something quick before crawling into bed.

Today was a long day... longer than most. I woke up for school around 6:30am or 7am, didn't really have time for breakfast and caught a ride with Calen. We stopped in at the Tim Horton's drive thru, where I got two chocolate dip donuts and an extra large coffee. We arrived at school only a few minutes late and went to database class, where I submitted my case study.. and then worked on my communications assignment.

Today was a real day off, a day off. A day where I didn't go to school, and didn't go to work, and had time to do things. Things. Things. Things include laundry (that I had put off way too long), getting groceries that I had put off too long, doing school work (which I don't do often enough) and finally having some time to sit down and play Skyrim.

Woke and went to school today after fighting and fighting to stay awake. It was really difficult to stay awake this morning, and all I wanted to do, with every fiber of my existence, was crawl back in to bed and just sleep, but I got up, and I stayed up... mostly, and got a ride to school with Calen. We did stop at Tim's on the way though, which kind of helped, having food and coffee always helps.

I sat down to write about a half hour ago but got distracted with songs and lyrics and forgetting everything. It's nice to take a few minutes to fly away to a far away place.

I don't learn, I don't learn from my mistakes. I'm fighting here not to write another long, drawn out dramatic entry about feelings and disappointment, and I think perhaps the time I've spent being hurt or angry, staring at this empty editing box, it's kind of subsided. I've buried it down perhaps, to come up and bother me at some later point, maybe later in the week, or maybe later in the month... who knows.

Today felt like a long day, not necessarily a bad day, but a long day none the less. A day filled with nice reminders about how irresponsible, stupid, thoughtless people can be, how some people default to asshole as their natural state.

Today wasn't exactly what I had expected but for the most part it was an okay, somewhat relaxing and semi-productive. I was in a pretty good mood for most of the day, and it was actually a bath that suddenly made me feel a bit down, not really related to said bathing, but I suppose it had something to do just having the time to think, and that never works out for me.