Excessive

Do you feel the way you hate Do you hate the way you feel
Always closest to the flame
Ever closer to the blade
I am poison crazy lush
Built these hands to lift me up
We are servants to our formulaic ways

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Fayt Liengod

So work is dwindling down for the holidays, as was expected. It's expected to end on Friday, but we finished early (today.. I got two of the last four) and so they put us Yellow folk on a new study, YRC, which is basically just the screening part of yellow, and then asking the people to take an online study. It only takes about three to five minutes to complete, which is refreshing after Yellows average length of twenty to half an hour. So work went pretty well today... I was a bit antsy for a bit but overall I guess it was tolerable.

For christ sakes, even when I'm dead tired, naturally tired, I'm not even tired... I tried to lay down and get tired by watching The Daily Show, and I just couldn't get comfy and I actually woke completely up. What a shitty deal...

400th Entry!
this entry was written at work

Feeling naturally tired is so much more tolerale then chemically enduced exaustion. Even going to sleep at 2 or 3am in the morning is easier the next day than if I had taken a sleeping pill and gone to bed at 8:30pm. It sucks because even if I stay up all night (naturally) I'm never really tired, thus I know I will be tired the next day.

To be honest, I didn't realy have high expectations when I placed Star Ocean: Till The End of Time on the ounter of the local EB Games. I knew it was published by SquareEnix, and I briefly read over a review at Gamespy about it but the real-time battle system had me iffy and the lack of the words 'Final Fantasy' had me skeptacle. Basically, Square being willing to assosciate it's name with it, the cover art, and the fact it came with a fancy box drew me in for the buy.

Work was very different today.. it dragged on, it was hard to concentrate and a lot of people were chatting. Usually Fridays are like that to an extent; today was secret santa at work, which meant everyone was talking and excited and... you know.. rowdy. I got paid today which mean... I could buy a secret santa gift? Yeah.. seems dumb kinda but I did. I ran to Red Big Apple Red Apple Big cheap ass wanna be bi-way store and picked up bubble bath, candles and nice smelling body wash on my break and ran back. I then wrote a letter to go with it, explaining how the gift wasn't completely impersonal and meaningless (as those gifts are just depressing.. such greed). The rest of the day seemed to drag on and on and I couldn't really concentrate or do anything... everything felt weird but not neccessarily in a bad way.. more of a neautral way.

I think today will be my last entry accompanied by a disgaea character. Not because I'm getting sick of looking at disgaea characters, but because I've run out of images to use... so that kinda puts a stop to that...

Today at work was pretty bad, but not specifically because of work itself, no it was the pounding, unbelievable pain of arthritis in my legs, hips and back that drove me insane with pain and suffering for what seemed like years. I begged a woman I didn't even know for medication of any kind and she helped me out with three extra strength acetemetophins, which took about a half hour to an hour to kick in, but most of the day had already gone by and it was... well... what seemed like a long day. One good thing to mention is: Tiffany (a supervisor at work) whispered to me while I was on a call, "you're doing _great_ this morning!" which is always nice to hear.

I wrote this at work, during the morning:

I'm so sick feeling... I get this feeling up my arm... into my chest, up my neck and then into my brain and it makes me want to fall to the ground and scream and kick and flail wildley. I don't know causes it...