Excessive

Lately work has been unpleasant. I shouldn't feel guilty for leaving after 9 hours, and yet today I did. I shouldn't feel attacked or insulted while at work either, and yet I do. It's a place I don't like to be, and only because of social interaction, not the actual work. People have a hard time not being terrible, negative, rude, mean people, and it effects those around them, and I just wish it didn't have to be that way.

So it's been a few days since I wrote and that's mainly because I got terribly sick. I got behind on school (just by a day basically), depressed from my sickness and how I was feeling, and writing wasn't the first thing on my mind. I struggled with trying to stay on top of my school work and it left me feeling even more upset than I already was.

Now it's important to note that the intent of my writing is not to harm, hurt or belittle anyone or anything from my past or present, and I don't mean to dismiss past relationships as anything unimportant; my goal is not negative.

By the time I hit the submit button, it will be my birthday, so I may as well make this my annual happy birthday post.

Happy Birthday Me!
28 years old?

I got pretty pissed at work today, for the first time in quite awhile. I haven't been disrespected or talked down to in a long time... You think you're better than me? That I'm somehow lazy, and that you work way more than me? Well fuck you. You want to be rude, and passive aggressive and disprespectful? That's so unprofessional, it disgusts me, and only reinforces why I went to school in the first place... to get out of an industry filled with fucking children.

I have way, way too much energy right now. I feel like I'm going crazy, or more accurately, I feel as though I am already crazy. I'm sitting here, full of energy, like, vibrating with energy. I'm jumping from task to task, feeling completely unsatisfied with any activity I take. I feel disinsterested in things, very short attention span, and I can't seem to bring myself to do anything productive, like clean. I go through this regularly, but it's never easy.

Today started off terribly, worse than the day before, just terrible. I went to sleep last night with a pretty bad headache, and going to sleep was a sort of relief, because going to sleep is my actual only relief. You go to sleep, you wake up better, simple, and works.

Waking up with a cold, and a giant, crippling headache... what a way to start a day.

Today was a pretty bad day... not terrible, but not great. I feel as though I'm getting a sore throat... a cold, and it's getting worse as the day goes on. I've got a headache, had to go to work right after school, and hadn't eaten properly, which may be related to everything.

Okay so I take back that whole thing I said about feeling like I have more time this week, as I don't. I work tomorrow, and slept away my free time today. That familiar anxious feeling in my stomach is returning and it's making me feel uneasy. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, and I already feel like I have no time to do anything. I know it's silly, especially considering I spent the majority of the evening playing Diablo 3 and listening to the morning stream or music, and I should feel relaxed, but instead I feel like time is flying by and an impending doom is fast approaching.