Excessive

Today was another frustrating day at the manor, followed by a tiring and uncomfortable time at home. Yes, it's another exciting installment of "Jordan's typical work day!"

While today was a long shift at work, it actually went by fast, but that doesn't mean it was enjoyable. It was still ten hours, and I had to go on the pasta bar for most of lunch, and there was a deceptively large amount of prep to get done.

I didn't write anything yesterday because after I had come home from dinner, I had a giant migraine and couldn't even open my eyes, so it somewhat got in the way of writing anything.

Today was a long day, I worked for twelve hours today, from 7am to 7pm, and even though I technically signed out at 5pm, I continued to work until 7pm when I got a ride with Julie. You see, it takes an hour and a half to get home on a bus; If things don't match up, it can take two hours to get home, and Julie offered me a ride home since she lives so close, but the catch would be I'd have to stay at work for a couple hours. I wasn't just going to sit around and be bored, so I just said I'd do light work while I waited, just to keep busy cause I didn't mind helping out.

I don't even know where to begin, or what to write today.

Nothing bad happened at work today, which goes against what I was feeling yesterday. I figured something would happen to make it not enjoyable, but for most of the day it was just myself and Jon working away in the kitchen, doing what we do, without anyone bothering us or getting in our way.

I'm tired, overtired, super tired. I'm getting a headache, my eyes are heavy and I feel pretty dead. Work was lots of work and my shift was long and I, at some point, broke a bit. There is always that point in the day where you switch from running around tryin to get things done fast so you can go home on time, to accepting the fact that there is no hope, and that sense of semi-panic and urgency kind of fades away, and you just give up, it happens on all shifts over 8 hours I think...

I think today was a good day as far as my mood goes, but as a day, well, it wasn't quite as good as some days. Work was retardedly busy, and as per usual, manager expectations do not meet realistic standards and that leads to um... disagreements.

I think I might be feeling a bit better today, or at least, I didn't have enough free time to figure out if I was still not okay. That then perhaps makes me okay by default, since with no time to become completely introspective and obsess over things, overthink them, drive myself insane... I think work was a distraction, as I knew it would be, and it left me feeling a little less morose.

The last two days have been pretty bad for me, it has been exactly one month to the day since my last um... down period. It effects every aspect of my life; how I feel, what I do, the things I think, the things I dwell on and obsess over. I didn't want to feel like this so soon, luckily it wasn't as bad as last time, and I think I'm going to start feeling better soon.

Today has been kind of odd, not that great really. I've felt tired all day, no energy, I've barely been able to get myself to stand up, I've felt numb and apathetic. I haven't had an apetite, and I've little interest in anything.