Excessive

This post was written on the night of Tuesday September 18, 2012, but not posted until the date on the entry.

Survived the day driving to Niagara Falls, spent some nice time with Bekki eating a nice dinner, seeing some attractions and playing some games. We've had a good night, and now it's 11:12pm, I'm sitting in one of the King Jacuzzi suites in the Four Points by Sheridan in the middle of downtown Niagara Falls, one block from the falls. I can see the water and the mist from the falls from my window, and it's pretty awesome.

Today has been a long and tiring day of work, bad news, headaches, feeling like shit, and all that fun stuff. Not only that but I spent the morning reading old entries and wishing I still had the ability to form well written sentences that sounded good and conveyed ideas and concepts. I used to be a good writer, and I wonder how many times I've written entries talking about how I wished I could write like I used to, but here I go again, repeating myself, again and again.

Things have been fucking crazy lately and I've been going up and down with such severity that I haven't felt like myself at all over the last week or so. It started with trying to find a new place to live... it suddenly dawned on us that we don't have to live here, and that we could perhaps find somewhere larger and more quiet, but could still afford it, even though it would be an increase in cost, it could still be managable. We found a place and really liked it, and got really excited about it, and then that lead in to some other bullshit - bullshit that I won't get into - but it resulted in just... complete disappointement.

I'm still having a lot of problem adjusting to being home, and back to working full time. I went from working twice a week, to having a whole week off, to working seven days in a row. It's a shock to the system, and the nature of the shifts - the timing, 11 to 7, means that I don't get lunch, I don't get dinner, and it leaves me with no time to do anything in the morning, and no time to do anything at night, and I'm miserable, just completely miserable.

I'm home from Nova Scotia, and if you noticed I didn't write for the rest of my trip, but in fact I did, and I have rough notes all written up for what I'll write, but I haven't had the time to write about it in detail. I will go back and flesh it out and post it, so it won't be current, or whatever, but it's my story and I can tell it however I want.

We went to sleep right away and I don't even remember falling asleep really. We slept straight through to about 10am the next day, to which I got up and Bekki opened the curtains to reveal the beautiful water and scenery! It was wonderful, and there was a nice breeze coming in the window, and it was just the perfect way to wake up. I went to bed with a bit of a headache and woke up with it still there in the right side of my head, so Bekki amazingly just rubbed that part of my neck and it helped a bit (she's awesome).

This is a bit different. This is something that I haven't really experienced. I am currently sitting, writing this, in front of ocean water, listening to the sounds of small waves roll in, with a nice breeze running over my legs and arms. This is relaxing, and I don't have to think about anything, or worry, or fear anything. This is relaxation and it's wonderful.

I haven't been writing as much lately, and I think that's because I've been keeping myself quite busy... so busy, and it's a good kind of busy. I feel productive, and like life is happening, rather than this time last year life was stagnant and not moving anywhere, but things are going places, I'm doing things, experiencing things that I've never experienced before and I'm not scared or even anxious.

Today was an okay day, a decent day of work... very tired at home, napped, and now it's already time to think about going to sleep.

I had to start at 6am, but the day went pretty quickly.

For the last week or so I've had terrible pain in my hip. It feels like the joint, but obviously pain in that area of the body can be hard to pin point, but it's effects are noticeable. It's made it so I can't effectively play tennis or bowl properly without suffering great amounts of pain, and if I irritate it at some point in the day, it will continue to ache, or even get worse as the day goes on... even so much that I need to limp to walk. It can cause pain down into my knee and even make my toes feel like they are going numb... it's concerning, uncomfortable and... painful.