Excessive

Today was the worst.

I had to leave work an hour early because of my headache. It was this sharp, intense pain behind my eye, up the back of my neck, on the left side. I couldn't think straight, and I'm not just saying that. I mean, I was having trouble getting thoughts through. I could only stare at the screen, and things weren't making sense.

I'm having difficulty writing lately, as I always convince myself that any other activity will lead to more relaxation, more satisfaction, and so on, but the reality is that most often the writing will be an excellent tool for me to relax. I've been on and off reading a couple books about managing my... moods or whatever. I don't really like talking about it, it makes me uncomfortable and I don't know how to write about it without upsetting myself. Anyway, both the books have outright stated that writing in some form is one of the best therapies for managing your behavior and mood. I read this and think back to how I felt when I wrote everyday, or even the few memories of feelings I have when I finish a single entry, and I feel emptied out, in the best way possible. It obviously doesn't fix anything, it doesn't change everything but it helps calm my mind and leaves me feeling less insane, and it's important for me to remember that and push myself even harder to write.

I thought I wanted to write but I don't.

I have a headache and it's impacting my ability to write properly.

It feels like there's been a bunch of bad things happening one after another lately, and on top of that I haven't been feeling that great, both with feeling sick very often (probably due to bacon) and feeling down (probably to do with things going wrong lately). I've been having trouble feeling motivated to do anything at all, including things on my to do list. I've been having trouble getting motivated to eat as well, having not eaten supper in a few days, and I rarely have lunch. I dunno, I guess I just haven't been doing that well lately, but I'm sure it'll pass.