Excessive

I don't remember what I've written about, what I've talked about, I'm not even sure how many days it's been. I've been on drugs pretty much 24/7 since... Thursday? I don't even remember the day it happened. I don't have clear memories of events, or the order of events, in fact most things are a blur of strange emotions and occurrences that don't quite make sense. I've tried playing with sobriety today but it didn't work out. I felt pain and discomfort, and gave in and took meds. I've also been taking Xanax pretty regularly... at first I was taking it to ease the anxiety related to going to the dentist and dealing with the giant swelling jaw that I had, but I've continued using it because the almost drunkenness it causes is a... not a break, but... something similar, to life.

I think I ate too much and I feel mighty gross right now, and I have the worst possible taste of red onion in my mouth that won't go away (thanks Subway) so I think I'm going to use mouthwash for a good six hours and then spit it out and see if it tastes better.

The smallest things set me off and bring me down, to a point where I don't feel energectic, empathetic and just generally turn completely apathetic about most everything. Things that set me off can be tone of voice, subject matter, random things said to me, pretty much random things I couldn't really predict (of course, there are obvious things that set me off as well). It sucks because sometimes I'm in a great mood and it's just ripped away from me and it's always so difficult to get it back, that it kinda makes me resent the fact it was taken so easily.

I'm wondering if there is a law against muttering threats against someone online, in written form. I know there are things to do with verbal harrasment and threats, but I'm not sure about online, since rogers is registered with .com, and .com is american.. hehe annnnyway. There is this girl, not woman, girl, named.. hmmm, let's change names for privacy sake. A girl named Sharon (for example) is a giant cunt, whom deserves not only to be shot through the face, but also repeatedly boot fucked; over and over. I hate her. I want to kill her with spoons. Good thing her real name isn't Sharon though. It's not.

Today was pretty short.. for some reason, someone took some hours out of it and it only lasted a few, rather than the full amount. I wonder where they went... I woke up early; I couldn't sleep last night, and I woke up every hour or so, eventually waking up at 8:30am or so, and the curtain was open in our room, and the sun was shining in on my face, which was nice, but it also confused the hell out of it because it was only 8:30am and it looked like it was 12 or something because of how bright it was. Where was I? Hmm... anyway, I got out of bed, barely awake, and made a pot of coffee, drank coffee, almost fell asleep on the couch and then stumbled back to bed. I don't remember how long I slept for... or when I got back up, or what I did really when I got up.