Excessive

Why do I always have to feel like the one that's trapped? Why do I have to feel uncomfortable? Why do I feel nervous about tomorrow, why do I feel like cutting myself. Why do I worry so much? Why?

I slept in really late today... later than I probably would've liked to ideally. Kind of feels like a completely wasted day, but it felt good to sleep that much so it's kind of an interesting trade off. I do end up feeling regretful and annoyed when it gets late and I have to go to bed. Here it is 12:22am, I have to wake up in 6 hours, and yet I'm wide awake and no where near wanting to go to bed.

Had a pretty good day, although I slept in quite late, and had a really difficult time waking up, and the first thing I always think is, "I don't have to go to school today..." but I fought it today, as much as I didn't want to, I got up, and had an hour to get ready and leave (yes that's right, I got up at 12:55pm). I stayed up way too late last night, I was almost awake for 22 hours, so that's why I slept so late.

I'm tired and kind of super surprised I'm still awake, and kind of scared as to what that means. Daylight savings time started this morning, and that's just complete bullcrap, because I lost an hour of sleep. I woke up at 6:15am, after about 4.5 hours of sleep, and I didn't feel too tired, I just had breakfast and grabbed my cab.

Hey did you know that the time goes ahead tonight, and I work at 7am tomorrow, so really, for all intents and purposes, I've got to go to work at 6am tomorrow, and that makes me sad. Especially since tonight SNL looks really good, so I have to stay up and watch it, which really only leaves me about 4 to 4.25 hours of sleep, which yeah, is gonna suck, but I'm off at 3pm tomorrow, so maybe I can nap after I get home before I have to raid and I won't be too miserable.

So work was kind of retarded for a few reasons, specifically because the only reason I was in was to put out a test dinner and put out the hot and cold food of a buffet, so that Jeff could go home, however this dude at work... I dunno if he was told to, or did on his own, but came over at 7:30 and just put out the hot food himself, so like... why in gods name was I there in the first place? Why did I have to work late the night before a day I had to work early when obviously there was no reason for me to be there. It was annoying, and kind of felt like some respect and independance was ripped away from me.

Yeah so, today is one of those days where I'm just getting that crazy anxious feeling, where going to work is the last thing I want to do and I just want to hide under blankets and feel better... but sadly, it can't be avoided.

Today should have been depressing, but it turned out with me feeling pretty good. I woke up late, and I had an in-class assignment in Web Design this morning, and since I had got up late, the only way I could make it to class in time would be to take a cab, and it cost me $28. On top of that, I didn't have a lunch to bring, and Thursdays are a six hour spree of non-stop classes.

C++ was actually pretty interesting today, as we focused almost entirely on data structures, how they are stored in memory, how they are searched and sorted, etc. It was interesting and fun, which might be the first time that class had been such a thing.

I've had better days...