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- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Emily
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Emily
michelle's hairfrom behind
Oh, how the night ends in tragedy.. such anger, shock and sadness. Did someone die? No. Worse... What happened was this. I load Final Fantasy 3j to take a screenshot or two for my site, because I wanted to show off the state of the art graphics (obviously) and so when I was trying to figure out what the print screen was, I accidentally hit the Load State key, which sent my game data back to the last time I saved state, which was... a few days ago. Needless to say, I'm about 10 hours of game time back, with all my progress lost... I wanted to kill myself, or smash a monitor.. or just fucking scream. All my fucking hard work and enjoyment taken away from me! AGH!! So... the key to take pictures is F9 by the way... I'm not sure what to do now. Should I just pick up from where it's set me... and try to remember what I was doing and just start from there.... should I start right from the beginning again and do it all over so I can feel the right flow kinda dealy.. or should I just stop playing altogether and move onto something new? I don't know what I want to do right now... I'm so frustrated.
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I awoke this morning early, as Emily was leaving for school; around 7:00am to be percise, and what shocked me was that I wasn't immediately tired, at least not enough to shrug, roll over and fall back asleep right away. I laid for a few seconds after she had left me, and I decided to at least get up and sit at the computer, since I didn't see myself falling back asleep at that point, and my computer was a wee bit more exciting than the bed. I just did the normal stuff, check my email, my message boards, run Hornet... it quickly got boring as well, since there wasn't much else to do, so I threw myself back in bed and went back to sleep, rather quickly, as I don't even really have much of a memory of doing so. Don't you hate when, at a glance (per se) you think you remember everything in your day. Someone asks you what you did, you quickly go over it in your head and yup, it's all there. Then, when it comes down to the details..and you actually have to go back and search for the answers, it's kinda blank. Does that happen to anyone else. I thought I could write an accurate retelling of my morning, but nope.. it's just gone. I have no idea if I went back to sleep at that point. I have no idea when I did any of the stuff I did this morning, as it was always in between various naps. *sigh* I'll just pretend I know what I'm talking about and you people will believe me.
There are a few specific things I want to cover in this entry, since I haven't written one in a few days, I'm getting quite behind and it'll be harder and harder to remember or bring myself to write as time moves on, so I'm going to sit down and try to force some writing out. As I've mentioned time and time again, over and over again, I've been having such a hard time writing lately; such a hard time getting it out of my thick skull and giant noggin, nothing seems to come out when I turn on the tap. There is so much built up inside me, I'm quite certain it's driving me insane. Everything bottled up inside, wanting to come out but having no way to travel... ugh, it's difficult to deal with. Clouds my mind... everything gets in the way and I can't really grasp on to one single thing... I kinda just get a handfull of stuff that all comes out at once and makes no sense...which obviously can cause some problems (for example the first draft of this damn entry)... well, without further delay...
I broke down. I downloaded Doom 3 finally. Yes, it was a twenty hour download of upwards of 3 gigs, but it worked. It downloaded, unzipped, extracted and installed perfectly, which was highly unexpected. Now you see, the way I looked at this game was much different than most other gamers; I had no expectations.. in fact, you could even say I had low expectations. Everyone was saying how godly and revolutionary this game is going to be, I just couldn't believe it, and didn't. I didn't buy it right away, and hell, I didn't even steal it right away... I never really got into the excitement that surrounded it..so when I loaded it up for the first time, I really had nothing to lose, no expectations to be crushed or any disappointment to soon follow. I loaded it up for the first time to basically see if it would run on my system. I set it to the 'optimized' seettings, which is when the software detects your hardware and then sets the games settings to their best for your system, and then I started a new game to see if the game worked. It did, although the framerate drops were very annoying and very much hurt the immersiveeness of the game... but I knew, as with all PC games, that I could tweak the settings of things and make it run better... how much better though, was the most important question... could the game be saved by tweaks set by fans, or will it stay a slugfest and not even get a night of my time... well, let's see what google had to say.
