Excessive

Well, I've already fucked up this writing because I wrote a few paragraphs and then closed the window, so I lost it all. I don't really know what I wrote... I'm pretty out of it right now. I'm on two t3s, two xanax, the antibiotics and some advil... kinda makin me feel pretty weird.

I've been having minor tooth aches for the last week... nothing too bad, just took an advil and it was fine. Usually these things pass after a little while, usually I assume I bit down on something too hard or wrong.

I took a long time to wake up this morning, so long in fact that I turned over and saw that I was late. It was after the time I'd have to leave to catch the bus, and I had an assignment due in my first class, so this was cause for some concern. I flew out of bed and sent a text to Calen, asking if he was still home and if I could have a ride, as it was the only way I'd make it to class in time. Luckily, he responded right away and offered the ride, so it all worked out.

I've got nothing to write today because it's late and I need to go to bed!

I will, however, summarize my day really quickly.

I wasn't going to write... I was actually going to go to bed like two hours ago. I was in a weird mood, or am I guess. Life is so many ups and downs, surprises and confusion.

I don't feel like writing. I don't feel like addressing the same audience each night, night after night. I'm sick of being nothing but negative and complaining about the same god damn things over and over again. I must come off as such a fucking whiner. There was a time when positive things made it on to these virtual pages, but it feels like so long ago.

What is happiness to me? Is happiness an absence of unhappiness? The absence of a specific list of things that upset you? or is it more than that? Happiness to me... happiness... Happiness is a brief moment that's followed by a much longer down swing. Happiness is romance, is knowing what someone is thinking and liking it, happiness lies in believing in love.

I feel like my heart is about to explode. I can't think straight and I feel wired out of my mind...

I had a database midterm this morning, and I woke up late. Yeah, my heart dropped as I rolled over and saw the clock, I woke up an hour late, and was a few minutes late for when I'd have to catch the bus, and so I stumbled out of my bed to my phone and sent a text to Calen basically saying, "Please tell me you haven't left yet. I need a ride, I woke up late" and it just so happened that Calen had fallen back asleep and was also going to be late, so that worked out. I got ready quickly and we made it to school pretty quickly and were only about three minutes late.