Excessive

I wish I were a cat; I wish I could lay on the couch with Marle ALL day, never saying a word, maybe never even opening my eyes. That would be perfection; such carelessness, no responsibility, relaxation... that would be my heaven. My eyes are so heavy and it's so early, I despise that, I hate it so much. I hate the fact that I have work tomorrow; that I have to go alone. I'm terrified... I'm scared beyond the limits of my mind. I can't see the buttons on the phone because I black out so much and have constant panic attacks... I'm so weak.