Excessive

Today was not as nice as I like for a Friday. It was not quite as relaxed as work as most Fridays, especially because we had a big meeting involving everything (which rarely, if ever happens). It caused work to feel a bit more stressful than I like, which tends to happen a lot lately. I wish I could relax more at home but I pretty much fail hard at that. 

I had to go to the dentist today, and you know how much I hate the dentist. Well, it's not so much that I hate the dentist, it's just I hate how my mouth feels when I go to the dentist. It was just a cleaning though, so nothing too too scary. 

Today was a day filled with above average anxiety. It hit me right away at work. It is almost always triggered by an email that - in my mind - blames something on me, or in some way implies that something I did was less than satisfactory. I don't mean in reality, I mean, in the way I percieve something. It's a major weakness in my personality. It ruins my day, and things pile on. I imagine more and more things, beat myself up over stuff, lose confidence. So this is what happened today. I enjoy days where I just go to work, do my work without much interaction, and feel good about myself.

I get a headache almost every day. I get a migraine a lot. I get migraine warning signs almost every day. I take too many migraine pills. I sometimes just feel exausted, and just feel defeated.

Today was actually a pretty decent day. I woke up without a headache really, although I didn't feel rested. My neck hurt and I just felt groggy, and that's without a sleeping pill or anything. I'm just super cursed to never have a good sleep. I really don't know what to do at this point.